Posts tagged ‘work’

An Implied Dress Code

Today being St. Patrick’s Day, most people wear some green attire. Be it a shirt, socks, or even a button, people usually dress at least partially to help celebrate the day.

I like days like this. It makes picking what to wear in the morning very easy. GREEN SHIRT. I think I would be an advocate of wearing a uniform to work, or perhaps “color days”. Monday is blue, Tuesday red, etc. Remove the thinking about getting dressed in the morning and save me 2 minutes (more time to sleep).

Now I could do this on my own, but I think one person actively pursuing a color coded week would stand out. It would probably turn into a big joke. But if, for the most part, everyone participated, it wouldn’t be so odd.

March 17, 2010 at 1:58 pm 3 comments

Hands Free Paper Towel Dispenser

Work just installed a new paper towel unit in the bathroom and I have to admit, I don’t like it. It’s one of those hands free units similar to the picture below, but it does not have a sensor. You have to pull the sheet yourself. This would be fine if the system worked, however with wet hands you end up tearing little pieces of the towel off instead of the entire towel. The bathroom ends up littered with scraps of paper. Overall the system is pretty frustrating. There is no way to get an entire sheet out without ripping the corners. Spend the extra $50 and get the sensor.

September 22, 2009 at 10:46 am 1 comment

Do you have 15 minutes?

JARED: what the manager should ask is

do you have 5 minutes to talk, 15 -20 optional minutes to go over what i didn’t think through, and 2 hours -4 hours to implement something real quick

February 13, 2009 at 3:47 pm 1 comment

Giving 110 Percent

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W -O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, itʼs the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

November 17, 2008 at 3:54 pm 4 comments

Vending Machine Randomizer

Ever have trouble deciding on what to get from the vending machine? Wouldn’t it be great if there was a randomizer button that would pick for you? You could specify a few options like the row you wanted it to pick from, the type of snack (salty, chocolate), or price range. Some advanced options may even include peanut-free products or healthy options.

Heading out to the vending machine manufacturer now to sell them my idea.

September 29, 2008 at 3:57 pm 2 comments

Auto-annoyance

Ever had a day where the actions of others around you annoyed you immensely?  Little things that usually wouldn’t bother you all got on your nerves?  What causes that syndrom of nearly automatic annoyance?

I think some of it may be sleep related.  Less sleep, more easily annoyed.  I think some of it may also be the length of time you’ve spent with the people.  Remember as a kid when you had that sleepover with your best friend Friday night, which then turned into an entire saturday afternoon and then another sleepover saturday night?  By Sunday morning you would fight about things that would never come up in a normal situation.

Now apply the best friend situation to people who you just work with.  Now they aren’t your best friend, so it dosen’t take 2.5 days of constant interaction.

Anyway, when is the pill coming out to block out coffe slurpers, nasily breathers, continuous sniffers, and all those other annoying habits?

July 2, 2008 at 1:00 pm Leave a comment

Morning Work Etiquette

When a coworker walks into the building, it’s ok to ask them what they did last night or if they caught the game or even to comment about the weather today. Basically any friendly conversation in the first few moments at work is welcomed.

What is not welcome you ask? Cornering a person as they walk in the door with crazy work issues. Give the person walking in a chance to take their coat off and settle in for 2 minutes before berating them with questions and work.

May 8, 2008 at 9:02 am 1 comment

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