Winter Weather

I’m a fan of winter. I like to play in the snow. I like to snowboard, make snowmen, and I even enjoy shoveling the driveway (as long as it’s not 24 inches of snow). I enjoy sitting by a fire with large snowflakes falling outside. I like looking out of the bedroom window when I get up to see an untouched coat of snow covering the brown ground left behind from the fall. There is something fun about being outside as the snow falls around you. I just like it.

All of that is great.

All of this is terrible:

I hate trudging through half melted slush. I hate walking through the parking lot and getting salt stains all over my pants. I hate the cold rain of a 35 degree day. I hate the black-brown snow that the plow pushes up into my front yard. I hate the white specs of salt that turn my black car into a sliver one.

In the end, I enjoy 10 days of winter and hate the other 120. But those 10 days of fun usually outweigh the bad and hence my reason for being a fan of Winter.

Days That Feel Like Other Days

What makes a day, say this particular Tuesday, feel like another day? Today it seems like it should be Wednesday. Is it me wanting the week to be over? Or at least closer to over?

I never mistake Saturday for any other day, but Tuesday and Wednesday always seem to play tricks on me. Here’s hoping for a quick Tuesday and a Wednesday that, well, feels like a Wednesday.

Late Christmas

Why Santa will visit my house on January 1st

The day after Christmas the sweater that cost $40 is now on sale for $25. It cost you $12 in wrapping paper to wrap all your presents – I will wrap mine in 90% off paper for 1/10^th the cost. If I start the tradition of celebrating Christmas by going to church and enjoying a day with family, then the (future) kids wouldn’t be any the wiser that Santa was coming on a different day.

There are other benefits too. That Wii-Fit that was sold out 4 months before Christmas – I have a chance to buy the one you returned because you got two.

Perhaps stockings should still be done on Christmas day just so there is some other excitement, but I’m all for the delayed, larger (read more) Christmas.

Apple’s Coolness Factor

I’m sure this has been asked before, but what are all the “cool hipster Mac” people going to do when Macs are no longer the trendsetting niche they currently are and become the mainstream computer?  It won’t be cool or indidualistic to have the same Mac that everyone and their brother has.

Hands Free Paper Towel Dispenser

Work just installed a new paper towel unit in the bathroom and I have to admit, I don’t like it. It’s one of those hands free units similar to the picture below, but it does not have a sensor. You have to pull the sheet yourself. This would be fine if the system worked, however with wet hands you end up tearing little pieces of the towel off instead of the entire towel. The bathroom ends up littered with scraps of paper. Overall the system is pretty frustrating. There is no way to get an entire sheet out without ripping the corners. Spend the extra $50 and get the sensor.

Push Click Pens

No office should ever stock pens that you have to push to use. These are annoying in meetings where everyone has one and is anxiously clicking the pen back and forth.

When it’s Advantageous to be 280lbs plus

I don’t shop for clothes much. In fact, I don’t shop much in general. But when I do, I have a complex about spending more than I feel is fair for an item. So on those rare clothes shopping occasions, my first, and usually only stop is in the clearance area (because come on, a “graphic t-shirt” shouldn’t cost $18). You can be guaranteed two things when browsing in this section.

1. The area is a disaster of clothes
2. For every medium sized article, there are 50 XXL. For every pair of size 32 pants, there are 20 pairs of 44×32 pants

I’m tired of being discriminated against in the clearance section. Why don’t they order more medium sized clothes and less extra large? It seems like they have the demand for the medium size clothes, since there are hardly any left for clearance. Instead, they run out of mediums and are overstocked with XXL. Come on. This may cause there to be less in the clearance area, but it can’t be any worse than it is now.

Waterproof Cellphone

Given that basically everyone knows at least two people who have dropped their cell phone in the toilet (or other body of water) – why don’t cell phone manufacturers make all of their phones waterproof?

Yes yes, you can buy the construction phone that’s water resistant, shock resistant, and impact resistant too. But where is straight waterproofing for everyone’s phone? I don’t want the click to talk crazy looking construction phone.

In my opinion, someone is missing out on a huge market.

Cleaning Corn in the Store?

Since when are you able to shuck corn in the store and leave the husks all over the display? I have seen people doing this multiple times and I feel it is quite rude. What makes these people think this is OK? You don’t see anyone opening up a cantaloupe, scoping out the seeds, cutting up pieces and leaving the rind behind do you? Put your corn in a bag, take it home and clean it there, just like everyone else.

One Birthday Card for everyone

Have you ever stood at the card racks at the store for 20 minutes trying to find just the right birthday card?  If not, have you ever stood with someone for 20 minutes while they looked for a card?

Why do we do this?  I know you want to get a meaningful card, but really.  Do you keep all the cards you get?  Maybe for a week, but sooner or later they get pitched, no matter how funny or clever the card was.  And in some cases, the card you spent so much time painstakingly picking for the birtday boy ends up being a dupliate of a card someone else has given.

So I ask, why not publish one birthday card for everyone?  Publish it in 4 colors, all with the same wording.  You’ve just saved yourself 20 minutes.  And you can personalize the card and make it really funny or extra meaningful by writing your own words inside. 

Or, I’m even open to a mad lib style card.

Dear ________,

I want to wish you a _______ birthday.  You are __________________.   I hope you ______________________.  Happy Birthday!

Love _________.

Dear Sally,

I want to wish you a happy 34th birthday. You are the best. I hope you get all the presents you asked for. Happy Birthday!

Love Steve.